Ilene Beckerman

Wisdom & Worries

The Wisdom and Worries of Grandma Ettie

If a man can’t keep his pants up, he’s sure to let you down.

It’s better to be alone than with someone who makes you feel lonely.

If you have to stand on your head to make someone happy, all you can expect is a big headache.

No one will ever love you more than your mother. Not even your dog.

Stop looking for Prince Charming. Cinderella’s already got him.

If you have a good woman friend, you don’t need a therapist.

Happiness doesn’t last but neither does sorrow.

A good man may be hard to find, but you should at least look.

Don’t worry about getting old. Worry about dying young.

Don’t cry over spilled milk, a broken dish, or a broken heart.

If a door won’t open, don’t push. Go around it.

If your feet hurt, praise God you’ve got feet.

Sports? You think it’s right that grown men should make so much money playing with a ball?

Sometimes you don’t know how much you’ll miss somebody until after they’re gone.

Why pay to see craziness in the movies? Just stay home, you’ll see plenty of craziness.

It doesn’t hurt to take a little walk once in a while.

Even Rita Hayworth doesn’t look so good when she wakes up.

Makeup? It’s a better idea to spend more time worrying about your inside than your outside.

Marry a doctor. He’s always assured a job because everybody gets sick sooner or later.

You should always hold your baby close.

Sometimes life is all about the song you sing.

I know what it’s like to be young because I was young. But when I was young, I didn’t know what it would be like to be old because I was never old.

There are things you won’t understand until you become a grandmother.

A little lipstick, a little rouge never hurt.

It’s better to feel good than to look good.

Better than buying something nice for yourself, buy something nice for somebody who can’t.

If it was up to me, everybody would be married to somebody so nobody would be alone when they got sick.

Walk around like you’re Hedy Lamarr even if you look like the bearded lady in the circus.

Send me your Grandmother stories!